did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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