remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
