Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize