I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
