before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize