if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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