Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
