Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize