My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
