The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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