I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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