i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
