Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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