so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
