im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We had to coat check the pizza.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
