i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
