I hate all girls vehemently.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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