Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She's the barista slut.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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