Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it hurts more in the daytime
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
