I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
