Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
