she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
