I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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