I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
