he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize