In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
