worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oh god it's open bar.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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