sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
