That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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