Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
