No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
