i came on her dog
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
