I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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