You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
