is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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