John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
