I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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