I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
