You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
