We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
