11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
