I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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