Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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