Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
