A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize