I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
