I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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