i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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