Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
