I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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