so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
