i think my mom watched the whole time
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
