Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
