so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
