I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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