Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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