Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's the barista slut.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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