Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
