the condom got lost in my hair
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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