It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
