What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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