she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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