i don't like sucking hair
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
