so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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